Email is Like a Prison

A prison with no walls, as Strong Bad would say.

I have come to the conclusion that some people (most people) should not be allowed to use email. I have reached this conclusion because of the inordinate number of *stupid* emails I receive all the time. I saw one today that claimed to show "satellite images of the Space Shuttle Columbia exploding!" Okay, first of all there are no satellites taking pictures of the Space Shuttle. Second, the Columbia did not explode, it disintegrated in the atmosphere. Third, the pictures are from the movie Armageddon, you morons!!!

In short, I just want to say: there is no litter of puppies about to be put to sleep, no one is going to do anything based on an online petition, Mel Gibson was not disfigured at an early age, there are no hypodermic needles in gas pumps, and you will not have bad luck for seven years if you do not forward this email to at least ten people.

Until tomorrow, stay cool...and for all our sakes, give the "forward" button a rest.

Where the Milk Flows Like Water and All the Mice Are Slow

I'm sitting here in Mr. TBTV's class. Fun stuff, let me tell you. For some unknown reason, we are discussing whether or not animal will go to heaven. I feel like I'm back in Sunday School...and that I'm five years old. Sigh...

Everyone in the class seems to love the idea that Fluffy will be going to heaven, except me. I made the comment that having animals in heaven would be more like hell, and everyone gave me dirty looks. I simply meant that for me (and other rational-minded people) animals are annoying and that we don't want them around. Now don't get me wrong, I don't *hate* animals or anything; I mean, they're delicious. Chicken, cow, pig: I'm all for 'em. But the only time I want them in my house is when they're dead and deep fried.

Everyone also conveniently ignores the fact that animal, unlike humans, DON'T HAVE A SOUL; but I won't get into that. Oh well, until tomorrow, stay cool...cuz Gigi's not really gone, she's in kitty heaven!

Crackin' Crackheads

The resident crackhead in Smoaks decided to drop by the Altman house tonight. Fun fun fun.

She wanted money...I wonder what for. Well, boy did she come to the wrong place. She wanted money...from US? I live in a freakin' bus, for crying out loud. Gotta feed the addiction though I guess. Never a dull moment...

Until tomorrow, stay cool...and just say no!

I Can't Take Anymore-Tonight, I'll End It All

Nah, nah, I'm just messing with ya. Got your attention, though; didn't I?

Today I found out that Mr. Teaches-by-Television can't understand common English colloquialisms! Lee Anne told him "see you on wednesday" at the end of the class, and he had no clue what she meant. I finally told him that she was indicating her departure and that she would not see him until wednesday (the next day the class meets). I think he finally got it. Maybe...or is it Mabie?

Until tomorrow...see ya next wednesday.